Dear agonized,
I know the feeling. While it is ultimately possible to do most of what you want, I think it needs to be said that this kind of page layout task is far more simply accomplished in an application designed for page layout, which Word is not. The Rolls-Royce is InDesign, of course, but that's pricey and has a significant learning curve. There are offerings from many others, from free to very modestly priced, and you might wish to have a look.

If not, the first order of business is to stop working on your immediate task, take a breath, and get some instruction from the sources of your choice on the principles by which sections and section breaks work. These are, ultimately, what control odd and even page numberings, headers and footers, margins, and other relevant features of your design. You might wish to create a simple dummy document in which to experiment as you read, rather than having the frustration of seeing your masterpiece getting discombobulated continually.

Grasping the operant principles will save you time and energy. Sometimes, we have to slow down to gain speed.