Suzanne Barnhill's article may help with the StyleRef part:
Useful StyleRef tricks by Suzanne Barnhill, MVP
Here is a
sample document that may help. The sample document is also attached but the link end up being to a later version if I make changes to it.
It has all the component parts. including the TOC field, the TC field and the StyleRef field.
Here is a screenshot showing TOCs created using Styles/outline levels and one created TC fields. I added bullets to the one using TC fields.
The headings in the document are autmatically numbered using the techniques shown in
How to create numbered headings or outline numbering in Ribbon Versions of Word by Shauna Kelly.
The TC field looks like this:
When looking at the document, you may want to use the Alt+F9 switch to toggle the view of field codes. I only inserted two TC fields as demonstrations and both are identical. TC field constructions like this can be saved as AutoText so that you do not have to keep creating them.
This method is far less automatic than simply using the styles. You must insert a TC field for each entry you want to appear. It is possible, as well to intermingle the two using the Custom Table of Contents dialog.
See also
TOC Tips and Tricks by Suzanne Barnhill, MVP