Jumping straight to #5: LOL, no, not "paying" for programming. We help each other on this forum (and on most others that I know of) because we love it, not for pay. In this forum, the Excel-Programming forum I mean, we talk about programs that you can write ~yourself~ to accomplish this, in the VBA language ("Visual Basic for Applications", a flavor of Basic that Microsoft includes built-in with all its Office apps including Excel). You can do things much more complex once you break down and try it, and for my money once you're used to it there are things that are actually easier to do in VBA than using a complex Excel formula. But it's up to you, of course.

If you resolutely avoid writing something in VBA then it's not clear to me how you'd do this with a single formula. Debaser seems to be on the right track when he suggests one formula for checking the checkboxes, with another formula (or more than one more) for other purposes. I'm thinking you could do it with an array of formulae (so to speak).

If you write your own worksheet formula, though, you could give it a name that makes sense to you — ORTIZMO, maybe — and then ORTIZMO, just like MIN, IF, VLOOKUP etc, could be used in a (much simpler) formula, because it did all the checking that you're having trouble stuffing into a single formula otherwise.

But if you don't already know anything about Basic, it would, I admit, learning a new skill. We'd help, of course. I would, at least.