What you want is not a part of the Word program.
You are asking for numbering to be automatic except when you want it to not be automatic, but you want it to change to reflect changes. Word cannot handle this.
I had a program on the Mac a long time ago called "More" that would allow cloning, which seems to be what you want. The closest thing in Word is mapped content controls which is nothing like cross-references in structure. I do not know that these would preserve numbering either.
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